Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize