you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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