Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
dude. I can hear the air.
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