so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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