When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
