I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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