Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
