She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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