"it" just moved
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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