From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
