recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
