When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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