Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
