Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
