When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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