Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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