Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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