you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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