I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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