i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
foreskin is a definite game changer
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
