ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
