Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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