Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
