I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
