It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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