I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
