I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
