did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize