oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
