we made out on top of his cat.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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