i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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