Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
