I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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