break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
