i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This is my gift to your gina
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
God I need to hump something, right now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
