Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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