I need help removing her.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
