I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
