well I can't set my house on fire every night
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
