george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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