And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
