im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
