The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
