He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize