i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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