you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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