Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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