Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
