"it" just moved
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Edward fifth and chaser hands
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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