We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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