Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We had to coat check the pizza.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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