I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
