I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
