I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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