That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
