I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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