I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
