I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
