the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
