Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
