Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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