we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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