if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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